It was a calm and cool night with nothing more than a small, dainty breeze to disturb the palm fronds. Cicada-like insects chirped and whined happily as fireflies floated and brightened the tiny worlds around them. The stars could be seen crisp and unhindered by artificial light. The entire celestial body was naked for anyone's viewing pleasure. Waves crashed against the rocky body of an island and the palm trees continued their light, rattling dance.
It was serene place. A quiet place.
"Uuuuugh, my head..."
Or rather...it was...
A lone figure, confined in a simple straw hut, slowly began to stir. In the dark of the night, their attire seemed opaque in hue; perhaps a deep blue or black, or Cosmos forbid, a shade of purple. There was another groan and the figure fully sat up right with a confused, dazed expression.
"W...Where am I...."
The figure was none other than the Evil Emperor Zurg himself, who had most recently recalled himself frequenting Cosmo's diner for his No. 2 special; whatever it was.
"Urgh...it was a mistake ordering something described as 'A complete surprise for your utter enjoyment'..." He muttered in disdain while holding his throbbing head. Felt like a Raenok had clubbed him upside the head with a plate! A steel plate!
He shook his head once and rubbed his eyes to clear his vision.
So far, he realized he was sitting on the floor--which was covered in dirt mind you and was highly unfit for his royal bottom--so he promptly snorted. The next thing he discovered was that he was in a straw abode of sorts. Perhaps a hut? A yurt? Something very primitive, by the looks of it.
"I swear, if Cosmo slipped in a drug to steal organs..." Zurg began to grunt onto his feet when something furry and brown flashed before his vision; a soft, faint sound filling his hearing.
"Chwa chwa chwa chwa chwa chwa chwa chwa...."
What was that noise!?
"Who's there!?" He called out menacingly, already reaching for any weapon he could find on his person. Where was his Zurgatronic Ion Cannon!?
Another dart of fur blurred before his eyes and soon, a bright flash consumed him; the noise growing considerably louder.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Zurg let out the most girly scream in his life and scooted up against a wall, a plated hand covering his delicate eyes. The light! It was bright!
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Came a collective, shrill cry.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuh.....ooooh..." He screamed again, peeking one eye open. What he found next was the most darnest thing ever.
Before him were several brown creatures, fluffy with floppy ears and big doe eyes. They had cute little button noses and their grins were wide and welcoming. They were stout, cuddly, and all around benign looking. And they all wielded small, simple torches.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuh.....ooooh..." These creatures mimicked, each one holding a hand to their faces and peeking with one eye. They were, in a sense, being little boogers. At least Zurg thought so.
"Ahhh...hah..." The Evil Emperor lowered his hand, and in amazement, watched as the little creatures copied his exact movements; he even raised it again and received the same results. "......I....don't suppose YOU know where I am, do you...?"
The creatures all began to attempt what he said, and they all failed miserably. Miserably. Zurg had to cringe and wince at the offending sounds of their little high-pitched voices.
"Enough, enough!" He pleaded, waving his hands for them to stop.
They copied, but otherwise grew quiet; that same smile on their faces.
"Eenuff! Eenuff!"
The Evil Emperor pressed his back closer to the hut's flimsy wall and tucked his legs closer towards his torso. Here he was, someone of his high standing, upon--he paused to strain--upon an island by the sound of crashing waves in a distance and felt his confidence dwindle. An island!? With nothing but his current articles of clothing and these brown fuzzballs!? How was he to get home!? Where was home!? Where was HERE!?
Shocked, the scrambled to his full height and bonked his head upon the hut's stout roof.
"Oh!" He exclaimed, rubbing the tender spot.
"Ooh!" It was pointless to say that the creatures copied flawlessly.
Zurg gave them his best stink eye, and muttered something mean under his breath. What were these creatures? They obviously seemed to enjoy tormenting him with their cute little voices and their big, round eyes. What did they want?
"What do you want..." He grumbled, cramped and uncomfortable at his stooped stature.
The creatures looked at each other for a moment and their smiles became wider; their white teeth dazzling in their torch lights.
"Eem bibble foo!" They said at once, a few jumping up and down. One even blew out a snot-bubble from their nose in utter, unrestrained happiness. "Eem bibble foo!"
"Eem bibble what?" Zurg repeated stupidly.
The creatures clapped happily and several of them stormed him, grabbing and tugging at his robes for them to follow.
"Chwa chwa chwa chwa chwa chwa chwa chwa!" They said as they began to drag him against his will. Zurg didn't even have enough time to object! They were so many, and he was so few! Well, if you could count one as few.
They lead him out of their cozy, short hut and it was reveal to the Evil Emperor that he was within a village of sorts. There were other huts of similar make fashioned in a ring, a few native drawings/etch marks in wood pieces, and a large bonfire in the very center. And in that very burning center was a rather angry, furious totem pole. A rather angry, furious, purple totem pole. And it had glaring eyes and a firm scowl.
"Oh no..." Zurg whimpered, starting to object and walk the other way. He knew where this was going and he didn't like it. "I'm sorry, fellows! But, you see, I don't do the whole 'sacrifice' thing. So sorry...Hey!"
But the creatures insisted and these darn buggers were strong in sheer numbers! Darn strong. Zurg was powerless as they grappled and pulled him. And they pulled him towards a very serious, stern shaman with stripes and spots. The shaman raised up a hand and at once the Chwa-ing ceased.
Thank the Cosmos...
"Eem bibble foo." The shaman grunted, ushering the rougher creatures to escort the Evil Emperor up towards the pedestal, where the bonfire roared the loudest.
"Hey now...can't we just...talk this out...?" He asked, his voice squeaking. It wasn't every day this happened! What was he to do!?
"Hmph." The shaman hopped over to him and held out a pouch of sorts. "Eem take." It said, snorting. Zurg complied, seeing as how the entire situation made no sense to him and grabbing a pouch would be the least of his worries. The shaman nodded and then motioned for him to throw it into the fire, which he promptly did.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
There was a grand explosion and the fire erupted into all sorts of dazzling colours, with sparks and fiery "beasts" jumping out to lick a few creatures who came too close. Zurg had no time to react as the burst of colours invaded his senses and he just stood there like a baffled dolt.
The fire settled into an unnatural, and utterly creepy, shade of lime-green and a thin cloud of dust began to waft around them all; the shaman taking a huge whiff and then chuckling insanely.
"Eem bibble foo." It said and then, to Zurg's slow surprise--as he found that the smoke was indeed some sort of inhalant--the creature bowed.
And when he bowed, they all bowed.
Bowed to him.
"....Oh I get, I get it..." He slurred, turning around with a slight wobble. That was some strong stuff! "I'm this..." He hiccuped. "...Eem Bibble Foo....thing....guy.....Oh craters, I'm like! Tripping out here!"
The creatures all giggled madly and some began to spin around in small little circles before passing out into their neighbours.
Zurg almost did the same but instead, he fell flat upon his armoured bottom and tried to remain aware of his surroundings.
"Eem bibble foo..." The shaman snorted with a crooked smile, slumping onto its own bottom as well, right beside Zurg's sighing, weary form.
"Eem to you, too!" The Evil Emperor hiccuped, slapping the thing on the back gruffly. An island filled with indigenous creatures that worshiped him who had the intellect of half a grub? Probably combined?
Maybe this place wasn't so bad after all...
He glanced up the sky and proceeded to make funny shapes out of the stars with his fingers and the rest loyally followed.
It was serene place. A quiet place.
"Uuuuugh, my head..."
Or rather...it was...
A lone figure, confined in a simple straw hut, slowly began to stir. In the dark of the night, their attire seemed opaque in hue; perhaps a deep blue or black, or Cosmos forbid, a shade of purple. There was another groan and the figure fully sat up right with a confused, dazed expression.
"W...Where am I...."
The figure was none other than the Evil Emperor Zurg himself, who had most recently recalled himself frequenting Cosmo's diner for his No. 2 special; whatever it was.
"Urgh...it was a mistake ordering something described as 'A complete surprise for your utter enjoyment'..." He muttered in disdain while holding his throbbing head. Felt like a Raenok had clubbed him upside the head with a plate! A steel plate!
He shook his head once and rubbed his eyes to clear his vision.
So far, he realized he was sitting on the floor--which was covered in dirt mind you and was highly unfit for his royal bottom--so he promptly snorted. The next thing he discovered was that he was in a straw abode of sorts. Perhaps a hut? A yurt? Something very primitive, by the looks of it.
"I swear, if Cosmo slipped in a drug to steal organs..." Zurg began to grunt onto his feet when something furry and brown flashed before his vision; a soft, faint sound filling his hearing.
"Chwa chwa chwa chwa chwa chwa chwa chwa...."
What was that noise!?
"Who's there!?" He called out menacingly, already reaching for any weapon he could find on his person. Where was his Zurgatronic Ion Cannon!?
Another dart of fur blurred before his eyes and soon, a bright flash consumed him; the noise growing considerably louder.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Zurg let out the most girly scream in his life and scooted up against a wall, a plated hand covering his delicate eyes. The light! It was bright!
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Came a collective, shrill cry.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuh.....ooooh..." He screamed again, peeking one eye open. What he found next was the most darnest thing ever.
Before him were several brown creatures, fluffy with floppy ears and big doe eyes. They had cute little button noses and their grins were wide and welcoming. They were stout, cuddly, and all around benign looking. And they all wielded small, simple torches.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuh.....ooooh..." These creatures mimicked, each one holding a hand to their faces and peeking with one eye. They were, in a sense, being little boogers. At least Zurg thought so.
"Ahhh...hah..." The Evil Emperor lowered his hand, and in amazement, watched as the little creatures copied his exact movements; he even raised it again and received the same results. "......I....don't suppose YOU know where I am, do you...?"
The creatures all began to attempt what he said, and they all failed miserably. Miserably. Zurg had to cringe and wince at the offending sounds of their little high-pitched voices.
"Enough, enough!" He pleaded, waving his hands for them to stop.
They copied, but otherwise grew quiet; that same smile on their faces.
"Eenuff! Eenuff!"
The Evil Emperor pressed his back closer to the hut's flimsy wall and tucked his legs closer towards his torso. Here he was, someone of his high standing, upon--he paused to strain--upon an island by the sound of crashing waves in a distance and felt his confidence dwindle. An island!? With nothing but his current articles of clothing and these brown fuzzballs!? How was he to get home!? Where was home!? Where was HERE!?
Shocked, the scrambled to his full height and bonked his head upon the hut's stout roof.
"Oh!" He exclaimed, rubbing the tender spot.
"Ooh!" It was pointless to say that the creatures copied flawlessly.
Zurg gave them his best stink eye, and muttered something mean under his breath. What were these creatures? They obviously seemed to enjoy tormenting him with their cute little voices and their big, round eyes. What did they want?
"What do you want..." He grumbled, cramped and uncomfortable at his stooped stature.
The creatures looked at each other for a moment and their smiles became wider; their white teeth dazzling in their torch lights.
"Eem bibble foo!" They said at once, a few jumping up and down. One even blew out a snot-bubble from their nose in utter, unrestrained happiness. "Eem bibble foo!"
"Eem bibble what?" Zurg repeated stupidly.
The creatures clapped happily and several of them stormed him, grabbing and tugging at his robes for them to follow.
"Chwa chwa chwa chwa chwa chwa chwa chwa!" They said as they began to drag him against his will. Zurg didn't even have enough time to object! They were so many, and he was so few! Well, if you could count one as few.
They lead him out of their cozy, short hut and it was reveal to the Evil Emperor that he was within a village of sorts. There were other huts of similar make fashioned in a ring, a few native drawings/etch marks in wood pieces, and a large bonfire in the very center. And in that very burning center was a rather angry, furious totem pole. A rather angry, furious, purple totem pole. And it had glaring eyes and a firm scowl.
"Oh no..." Zurg whimpered, starting to object and walk the other way. He knew where this was going and he didn't like it. "I'm sorry, fellows! But, you see, I don't do the whole 'sacrifice' thing. So sorry...Hey!"
But the creatures insisted and these darn buggers were strong in sheer numbers! Darn strong. Zurg was powerless as they grappled and pulled him. And they pulled him towards a very serious, stern shaman with stripes and spots. The shaman raised up a hand and at once the Chwa-ing ceased.
Thank the Cosmos...
"Eem bibble foo." The shaman grunted, ushering the rougher creatures to escort the Evil Emperor up towards the pedestal, where the bonfire roared the loudest.
"Hey now...can't we just...talk this out...?" He asked, his voice squeaking. It wasn't every day this happened! What was he to do!?
"Hmph." The shaman hopped over to him and held out a pouch of sorts. "Eem take." It said, snorting. Zurg complied, seeing as how the entire situation made no sense to him and grabbing a pouch would be the least of his worries. The shaman nodded and then motioned for him to throw it into the fire, which he promptly did.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
There was a grand explosion and the fire erupted into all sorts of dazzling colours, with sparks and fiery "beasts" jumping out to lick a few creatures who came too close. Zurg had no time to react as the burst of colours invaded his senses and he just stood there like a baffled dolt.
The fire settled into an unnatural, and utterly creepy, shade of lime-green and a thin cloud of dust began to waft around them all; the shaman taking a huge whiff and then chuckling insanely.
"Eem bibble foo." It said and then, to Zurg's slow surprise--as he found that the smoke was indeed some sort of inhalant--the creature bowed.
And when he bowed, they all bowed.
Bowed to him.
"....Oh I get, I get it..." He slurred, turning around with a slight wobble. That was some strong stuff! "I'm this..." He hiccuped. "...Eem Bibble Foo....thing....guy.....Oh craters, I'm like! Tripping out here!"
The creatures all giggled madly and some began to spin around in small little circles before passing out into their neighbours.
Zurg almost did the same but instead, he fell flat upon his armoured bottom and tried to remain aware of his surroundings.
"Eem bibble foo..." The shaman snorted with a crooked smile, slumping onto its own bottom as well, right beside Zurg's sighing, weary form.
"Eem to you, too!" The Evil Emperor hiccuped, slapping the thing on the back gruffly. An island filled with indigenous creatures that worshiped him who had the intellect of half a grub? Probably combined?
Maybe this place wasn't so bad after all...
He glanced up the sky and proceeded to make funny shapes out of the stars with his fingers and the rest loyally followed.
