Wahines in Bikinis?

Something was off. XR wasn't sure why, but...

He looked down the coastline, the sound of sea birds, wind and crashing waves filling his auditory receptors. Why had he woken up on a beach? ...more importantly what had happened last night and why couldn't he remember it? XR rubbed his helmet. No, no he did remember; he'd been in his charger. So why was he on a beach now?

The little bot wheeled over a sand dune, looking around. "Hellooooo!" He called, frowning.

The sound of a train whistle split the tranquil coast, sending some nearby seagulls flapping into the evening sky. XR continued up over the dunes, looking for the source of the sounds. when he breached the crest, he saw a small train station and a few fisherman shacks, most with lit windows in the growing twilight. He didn't bother to hid his displeasure at the sight.

The tracks for the train continued in both directions, apparently following the coast. XR slide down the embankment and headed for the station. The sound of a guitar floated through the town, and he looked towards it. There on a bench was dog. Playing guitar.

Something...wasn't right about this. XR wheeled uncertainly to the creature.

"Hey, buddy." He said, trying to hide how completely out of his element he was. "So uh, you know where this train goes?"

The dog strummed his guitar, and looked up. "This line goes all the way to Fatum Fas." He said.

"Oh." XR frowned. He wasn't sure what that meant. The shrill whistle of the train sounded again, closer now. XR blinked through the night at the approaching steam engine. A steam engine. Again something about that felt off. He looked back to see the dog had stood up and strode over to the platform.

XR stood, rather dumbstruck as the train pulled in and the doors opened, letting the dog on. He didn't have any cash on him. He wasn't sure how he knew this, but he did know it. But he had his jetpack, he didn't need that old fashioned train, he'd just fly to...wherever it was he was going. Somewhere besides here.

As the train pulled out, XR remained on the platform. He had no idea how much he was going to regret not taking that train.

"Chwa chwa chwa chwa chwa chwa!"

What was that?

A very annoyed Tav rafted to shore on her boat made of norns. They were struggling, and a few had drowned, but they floated very well and Tav hadn't got a drop of water on her through the whole trip. Thank Irk!

She grabbed one of the particularly loud norns, and activated her PAKlegs. She stabbed through its windpipe, grinning as it helplessley wheezed for air.

Tav marched up the shore, dead norn still in her hand, glancing around at her surroundings. If she was correct, then she was on the mainland in an area called "Carpe Diem", which meant something in some human language that she didn't care about. And if that was correct, then there would be a train station near by.

How on irk did she know this?!

She eventually found herself at the train station...

was that a robot?

Would it attack her? She'd better test its reaction to foreign objects.

She tossed the dead, bleeding norn at the robot's head.

Okay, so I'm not sure why I'm here, but I'm at the train station of Carpe Diem... XR studied the fading map. And the city is to the northeast, okay...

Where were his teammates?

He turned back toward the sea to see something crossing the sandy bank between the dunes and the platform. He squinted, not sure what it was. It didn't seem very big and wasn't remotely threatening, really.

As it came into the lights of the station he realized it was an alien, an Irken. How he knew this he wasn't sure, and as he was trying to figure it out the Irken threw something small, furry and limp at him.

It hit his helmet and left a smear of blood. XR yelped in disgust and surprise, backing away from where the dead creature had fallen. It looked like maybe a monkey? He couldn't tell, the body was too mutilated.

"What was that for?" XR gasped.

All right. Not an automatic attacking drone, then. Certainly looke harmless, too, but you could never know with robots.

The robot was obviously made by inferiors. The paint job alone was enough to tip her off. She marched up to it, two of her PAKlegs active but hidden under a hologram, and forced open its front panel.

She held him with one hand, and gave him the dead norn with the other, whilst holding his hollow body down with a foot.

"Hold this."

Tav stared down at the robot's almost-empty chest. A short, green thing was in there. Well, she wouldn't disturb it.

Not finding anything of intrest in the robot, Tav ducked back and snorted.

"Stupid. Don't you have anything interesting? What inferiors made you?"

"Ew, I will not hold that!" XR said, trying to push the Irken away. "And get off! Get out! What's your problem?" XR backed away further. "I'll have you know I'm a Space Ranger, and-" Wait, was this place within his jurisdiction? ...did he even have any weapons on him? Oh craters.

Just then XR's front panel popped open, seemingly of it's on accord, and the familiar three-eyed face of an LGM appeared in his line of sight. "Hello." It said, with a smile.

XR gaped. Had he been in there the whole time?

"I said," Tav hissed, revealing her hidden PAKlegs, "Hold this."

She shoved the norn in his face.

Space Ranger. That term was strangely familiar.

"A Space what?"

"Oooh." The LGM said, looking at the dead thing, and then at the Irken. XR was not amused.

"A Space Ranger." XR repeated, glancing to the side to see if he could make an escape from this crazy Irken chick. He looked back over at the dead...norn, that's what it was, that was being shoved in his face. "And that is disgusting, stop playing with it!" XR said, both to the Irken and the LGM, who was poking the corpse slightly.

Tav glared at the short green thing and pushed it back inside XR's chest with her foot.

"Forshke, what's a Space Ranger?!" She yelled, getting obviously fustrated. First, this robot had nothing interesting to steal. And now it was not fufilling her every demand! What was this?!

"And I'm not disgusting! YOU are disgusting!"

The Lone Shee scratched his chin. Why, this place looked mildly familiar. However he didn't really recall it much. It was still a bit odd to be on a spherical planet, but for some reason the Lone Shee felt like it was all fine and dandy to be on one for a moment.

He saw two figures, wait, three figures? One could have been a malignant growth coming out of one's chest. Yes, that sounds right. Maybe they would care for some tea?!

He trudged along the beach, a bit confused on exactly how he had gotten here. He did remember himself working at a desk in the Capillata on a gadget, he hadn't slept for a few days and he must have passed out at his desk. He truly hoped he didn't push the button for the warp, but that seemed unlikely. He did NOT sleep walk..

As he approached the pair, or trio, or whoever was over there. When he got within distance to see what was going on, he gasped. His face contorted into an odd shape and his hand went over his mouth as he felt a little bit of vomit in the back of his throat

WAS THAT A NORN HEAD?!

"WHAT IS THAT?!" He shrieked at the top of his lungs, even though he knew very well what exactly it was.

"YOU!" he said, and pointed a finger at the little cockroach. He was quite confused on what this beast was, but in the back of his head he thought that it wasn't an extreme cause of alarm.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?! WHAT DID YOU DO?!" he pointed at everyone who was involved in this party, his other hand pulling slightly at his hair.

Tav turned and glared at the tall blue creature that was approaching her. Could it shut up? She was planning an interrogatoin, here!

"I killed a norn. Duh."

Tav then threw the corpse of the norn at Shee's head.

XR didn't even notice the blue man until he started shouting, he was too preoccupied with the annoying Irken.

"She did it!" XR said, pointing at the Irken. "I don't know what's wrong with her, but between you and me I think she's nuts." XR said, taking his chance to move out of the Irken's reach once again.

He stared dumbfounded at the two creatures. Until a dead norn head hit his OWN head!

He shrieked and covered his mouth. He was extremely disturbed by the entire situation. He truly, truly hoped that he had fallen asleep on his portal device and had somehow come to a very terrible, terrible place and he could go back home!

He searched around in his knapsack. Well, that was odd. It looked as if he had only a few norn eggs in his pouch. Where was his warp remote?!

Panicked, he looked up, his face still contorted from the scene. "What, what have you DONE?! And of course its NUTS, she KILLED A NORN!! AND YOU'RE IT'S ACCOMPLICE!"

"Excuse me! I killed 24 norns!"

"Wait, what?" XR said. "Oh no, I had nothing to do with it, she attacked me! I'm completely innocent in this!" XR said, defensively.

The Lone Shee pointed a menacing finger at Tav, his mouth agape. He was at a loss for words. He couldn't believe that something that was able to speak properly be able to kill 24 norns and feel no remorse at all!

"YOU. YOU ... MONSTER!" he shrieked, he put his hands over his mouth. The mere thought of 24 dead norns decaying as their bodies were swarmed by flies made vomit come up to the back of his throat again.

"How?! WHY?!" he stammered, choking a bit. He was obviously very... emotional at the entire situation.

Tav turned to completely face the Shee, no longer concerned about the robot that she had just attempted to mug. She planted her hands on her hips and sent the Shee a nasty glare.

"You are the monster, stupid! The blue, hairy, filthy, INFERIOR monster!" Tav paused. "I kicked one of them, I threw one off a cliff (that one screamed a lot), I drowned 20 of them, crushed a smeet norn..." She was disturingly excited at telling the Shee this information. "And I pierced this one's windpipe," she said, grabbing the norn corpse away from the Shee's feet and shoving it in his face, pointing at what used to be a perfectly good neck.

XR grimaced with disgust as the Irken started feverishly listing off how she had killed those 24 norns. With every word from her loud mouth the blue man's face grew paler.

With a click XR's chest compartment opened again and the LGM hopped out, his trio of eyes looking around again before finally fixing on XR.

"Dirty." He said, pointing at the drying norn blood on XR's helmet. XR popped out his windshild wiper and tried to wipe it off. It didn't come off to well, but didn't have a cloth on him. He had very little with him, in fact, and without the LGM in him he realized just how empty his storage compartment was. No wonder the Irken had lost interest in trying to steal his possessions--he had none!

The Lone Shee was quite close to vomiting at this point. In fact, he would have done so at the sight of the norn if he hadn't turned away at the very last moment and covered his nose with two of his fingers.

"What, what a vile creatures you are!" he stammered at both the little green thing and the robot. Of course, the robot had some sort of green thing sticking out of him now... quite odd. He didn't even mind the fact he was being insulted now, all he could think of was those poor norns!

He was about to reach down and strangle the little thing, but that would have been a fate reserved for someone who had done less crimes! The Lone Shee started to slowly back away. Making a passive retreat and coming back with something that could get rid of this vile creature for good without getting anything on his hands would probably be the best bet.

Tav's disturbingly happy grin faded in an instant to be replaced with a suspicious glare. What was that blue thing doing? Was it going to get reinforcements? Of course, something as amazing as herself would need a whole army to take down, but it would be best to not take any chances.

She activated her other two PAKlegs, spiderlike mechanical limbs that ended in a sharp blade, and deactivated the hologram that was hiding the main two. She reared up to the Shee's face level, and grabbed the front of his shirt in a grip that was deceptively strong, considering her size.

"Where do you think you're going?" She hissed.

XR noticed the blue man begin to back away, and was about to run after him and beg not to be left alone with this psychopathic Irken (even if he wasn't technically alone, he had the LGM, but still). However before he had the chance to move, the Irken sprang at the blue guy and stopped him from leaving. XR gasped at the sudden movement, though he had to admit he was glad it was not in his direction.

"Where do you think you're going?"

XR had...one blaster. It was technically his responsibility to serve and protect civilians. However he wasn't sure it was a good idea to do anything to upset this Irken. But he couldn't very well stand there and possibly let what had happened to that norn happen to this man as well...then again he could take this chance to get away.

No, he couldn't do that, he was a Space Ranger.

Craters.

"Hey!" XR shouted, eyes fixing on the sharp blades at the ends of those spider-like mechanical legs coming form the Irken's PAK. Of course as soon as he shouted he didn't know where he was going with it. "Let's not do anything we'll regret. How about we start this over? I'm XR, and uh, you are?" He forced a smile.

SUDDENLY A MINI SPACE CAPSULE WITH STAR COMMAND INSIGNA CRASHED INTO THE SCENERIO ALMOST BURRYING THE ATENDEES UNDER A BUCH OF WHIRLED UP SAND.

For a moment, nothing happened. Then something opened and a strange limbless creature plopped out of the thing, stumbling around in the sand uncoordinated.
"I did it..." she gasped, "I did it!"
The squeezed the sand, and threw some of it at the nasty space ship thing, because it was so small and had given her moments of horror. But in the end it was worth it.

And then she spot XR behind it. Claire's eyes widened.
"YOU?"
It was NOT worth it!
Were these rangers everywhere?!

Reflexively she shot up and walked over to him, pointing an accusing finger on the robot.
"YOU!" she said threateningly, "You owe me an essay!"

The Lone Shee yelped as he was grabbed by the collar. He truly didn't like being handled like this, and it was rather rude!

"I'm going," he said, his face turning into a scowl. "And I'd like it if you let go of me. And good... inorganic... Sir... this is NOT the time for introductions! Then again, maybe it is, considering I'm being manhandled!"

Suddenly, out of NOWHERE, a space capsule plummeted into the sand. The Lone Shee's eyes burned as some sand splashed their ways into them and he reached up to rub them while letting out a small hiss. Today was not his day.

When a small creature emerged from the capsule, the Lone Shee couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. Why, what sort of odd monstrosity had evolution so clearly played a trick on? Where were it's limbs?! How did it's hands get circulation?!

"Going where?" Tav sneered, "To make tea and biscui-"

Tav paused as something flying overhead caught her attention. Her hold on the Shee loosened just a bit as she watched the space shuttle crash on to the beach. Wait, what? Had reinforcements come already? What?

No matter. Whatever this creature was it was dumb and looked stupid and seemed to have no arms or legs. If her guess was right, then it was some kind of robot with some kind of antigravity or magnetic field keeping the hands and feet in place.

Upon further investigation, the shuttle seemed to have the same logo on it as the robot that was currently behind her.

Tav turned to face XR, glaring.

"What do you think you're trying to pull here?!"

XR yelped as the ship crashed down near them, however, he recognized it at once as a Star Command vessel. Immediate relief came over him. Backup.

However as soon as the...ranger? He wasn't even sure, but he guessed she must be because she had been in their craft...right? Though he'd never seen her before. She however seemed to recognize him, because when she set eyes on his she began shouting.

"You owe me an essay!"

"I...what? I don't even know you!" He said. Oh of all the things that could have come out of a Space Ranger ship, it had to be someone small and clearly mad at him!

"What do you think you're trying to pull here?!"

It was the Irken. "I'm not- I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT." He pointed at the ship and it's angry occupant. Oh man, why hadn't he gotten on that train?!

"Oh of course!" she said, rolling her eyes to that, "Now you don't know me!"
She knocked against his helmet which caused some awkard banging sounds.
"Is your little pirate chip malfunctioning or what?"

She took his expression in for a moment and tilted her head. The Rayian's bodyparts then bounced back into a smaller distance from each other.
So he either really didn't know her, was a different model, or had a disk-crash of some sort. Whatever it was, she might make some use of it.

"So... what about the others? Is Buzz here by any chance? And..."

"What do you think you're trying to pull here?!"

Claire turned back to take a look at the angry looking alien. Reflexively she stepped back a few feet, yet her question had obviously been directed to XR.
The Rayian turned to give the robot another quick glance.
"Yo, XR!" she called, now less aggressive than before, "If she beats up and you lose any limbs, can I have them?"